Lumpy schedule

Day 1
5pm fed but no poop
10pm sleep, took lumpy out but no poop
12am lumpy woke up, told me he wanted to get out. Then poop and then pee but not on newspaper (poop privately, then pee on way back)
12:30 vomited
3:30am whining, heaving (no vom), scratching left ear and collar.
4am – peed in wrong place but pooped on newspaper
6:45am fed, took out for walk. Didn’t pee or poop on walk
9:52 came back, peed downstairs in house
– drank a ton of water and went to sleep
11:30am pee on patio but not newspaper (stopped midway)
12:13pm pee on patio but not newspaper (stopped midway)
12:30pm peed on newspaper!!!!
Since after the walk, has been aggressive and barking

Vet concerns
– inside right ear dirty, won’t let me touch left ear and itching it

Running log – faster 3mi time

3 miles total
– the idea being to run 2min jog, 1min faster pace. Can also fine tune this on longer runs to see if the ideal ratio changes as you get farther along.

Jan15-17 – have historically done 6.0//7.2 for the first 2mi or so and then slow down to 5.5//7.0 or sometimes even jogging slower than that if medial foot feels ischemic. Remember that the slower you jog, the harder your quads have to work and thus, ultimately waste energy

Feb1 – 2min jog/1min run- 6.2/7.1mph with 7.1 finish starting 2.84mi- 27:38 3mi time, got second wind as I finished – this is after 1 rest day in which I climbed instead of ran

Feb10 – 3mi total: 6.4 first mi, then alternate 0.25mi 7.2-7.4 and 6.0/6.2 for the second 2mi: total 27:36

Running log – faster mile time

3mi total –
– to practice running a faster mile time. Can also do 2mi- the idea being to warm up for a mile to maximize fast pace afterwards. Then either run as fast as you can and push yourself to get to 0.5 minimum, or run somewhat fast for the full mile.
1mi- comfortable jog (having fun, not pushing at all)
0.5 – top pace (within comfort, lookin hot)
0.5 – jog pace
0.25 – top pace
0.65 – jog pace- smile!!! You did it!!
0.1 – top pace

Jan26 – 6.0//7.0 mph = treadmill stopped at 2.6 by itself. 6.42fast + 22.5 = 28.92min total = would have been 28:55min total

Jan28- 6.0-6.2//7.0 mph = 28:16 started at 6.0 and after 0.5ish sped to 6.2. Pretty tired but could keep going

Jan30- 6.2 first mile, 6.5 whole second mile, mix of 6.2 and 6.5 last mile (28:30). A different kind of tired- more overall exhausted rather than a temporary burn (also day 2 of period)

January – week 1

Jan 5 – burned 440 (0.95lb/wk) – 13wk, 5d
– jogged 20min 5.5-6.0. (1500 total)
– ate popcorn 1hr before workout (200) at 3pm, 2 fruit/but bars after workout (280) at 6pm, almonds (200), LC (230), 2 apple sauces (180), 1 Godiva chocolate truffle at 9pm (1050 total)

Jan 6 – burned 550 (1.07lb/wk)- 13wk,4d
– ran 2mi (7.0 half mile, 6.0 rest of mile. 5.5 quarter mile, 6.5 half mile, 6.3 last quarter), pull down 62.5 x10, x6, x4. Otherwise class all day, clinic (1700)
– felt nauseous this AM (woke at 6:30), ate mix of cherry tomatoes and snow peas during lecture (150) from 9-12p. 12p got tortilla black bean soup and bread roll (250) + banana (100) + got home and ate tons shredded wheat cereal and milk (600) at 4:30pm + 6 slices of frozen peaches at 11:30pm (1100)

Jan 7 – burned 450 (0.95/wk) – 13wk, 3d
– rounding in hospital, walking to msk and different appointments (200), elliptical 15min at 1incline, 33 resist (100), biking 15min at L13 sprints and L11 base (100), ran my 0.5mi at 7.0mph, walked a bunch (50) (1750)
– breakfast of oatmeal, 100cal smart popcorn, and mixed fruit (400?) at 7:30am, soup from ABP and my mix of veggies (grape tomatoes and snow peas) for lunch during lecture (400) at 12pm, went to COA meeting and had 2 veg spring rolls, a dumpling, and a beef Rangoon (400?), chai tea (100) (1300)

Jan 8 – burned 560 (1.08lb/wk) – 13wk, 2d
Good work! Doing great! Keep going!
No room for negative thoughts here- negative thoughts will make you go super fast for a few days but then fail, while positive thoughts will help you do a long term solution.
– walked 1.3mi to bally and back in cold, 30min workout (500), walking on rounds and stuff in morning (200). Total 2000!
– achy this morning and super hungry when I woke for rounds at 8:30- brought food for 10:30 class – 80cal Greek yogurt and 1/3c granola (230 total), 100cal bag veggie chips (100), mandarin oranges (110). Ate bag of sour cream chips (200) at lunch 12pmand then a tuna sandwich right after at 1pm (400) even tho I wasn’t hungry. Then 6 starburst a (100) at 2:30. That means I’ve already eaten… You know what? Stop the negative thoughts. My eating habits are healthy and fine. The tuna sandwich is full of healthy goodness and I thoroughly enjoyed eating it. Nothing should take that enjoyment away from me! This is the rest of my life and it will be great. Are 80cal yog with granola and snacked on granola after (total 300). Total 1440

Jan 9 – burned 750 (1.46lb/wk) – 13wk, 1d
– climbing gym (1.5hrs, can do 5.8 top rope halfway stopping bc of arm tiredness and some v1s, all v0s but can’t do any hanging incline ones) (200?), walk to and from gym (1.3 total each way), (250) (total 1750)
– skipped activities to sleep, didn’t eat until lunch. Tuna sandwich at 1:30p (400), going to have granola yogurt and stuff but full and kinda nauseated. I guess the sandwich was just that good!’s now 4pm and it’s the strangest thing- I’m not hungry at all. I was going to eat a yogurt before going climbing but couldn’t stomach the thought of eating. Odd. But if I’m going to be upset about having a big appetite and upset about having a small appetite, that’s not logical! 2 yogurts and granola (600) (1000 total)

Jan 10 –
– walked around and about in hospital, but no gym (1400)
– still not hungry!! Didn’t eat until 12:30 and then got hot beef stew, veggies, and these delicious creamy corn nuggets. Didn’t have an appetite for any of it. Of course it tastes good, but after each bite I felt nauseated by it, like I had had too much. No positive emotional connection whatsoever. (400). Had some white coconut cake (200) at 1p, veggie chips atb2 (100), white hot chocolate at Starbucks (200), 2 chips (200), peaches (100), LC ravioli at 9:30p (270), granola (300)

Jan 11 – 12wk, 6d
– great day! Personal training and walk back and forth (500), shopped for 2hrs (200) (total 2000)
– blueberry mango froyo smoothie and fruit (300?) at 12:30, bagel and cream cheese at 2p (400?), snacked on rasp yog pretzels during the day (380), veggie chips and applesauce at 5pm (160), Matsu noodles and veggies,
Some mochi (500?)


It brings me down:
– thighs with sweat sticky on a hot day
– thighs touching when legs closed, alternating overlapping when walking
– stomach rolls uncomfortably folding over when sitting, then being red lines when shirt off, and knowing this is due to fat
– wearing a bikini and not being able to enjoy myself
– the feeling of sausage arms when wearing any short-sleeved shirt, and not being able to enjoy myself
– feeling like all clothes looks fat and ugly on me, and there is nothing to wear, not being able to enjoy my pretty clothes
– bulging fat calves, stubby stumps
– armpit fat rolling over tank top
– having fat thighs and butt when climbing and people judging me for looking unfit from below
– not being able to wear cute boots bc of fat calves
– eyelids being bulgy and slitty because of the adipose in eyelids
– fat face as opposed to slim
– bulging shoulders as opposed to nice lean ones

Things to look forward to
– feeling confident in my body- when someone talks about “don’t just look good, be fit too”, feeling included. Feeling good in my pretty clothes
– owning myself as a fit and healthy person, being able to identify as that type of person
– having sexy calf definition appreciated as fit as opposed to fat covering up the muscle
– being able to seduce and use my body sexily without being self conscious
– feeling like I deserve whoever I am with and be able to let them be around other women without feeling threatened

It’s not “having what you want”, it’s “wanting what you’ve got”

– just like with going to the gym, where in order to keep going you have to make the exercise not just tolerable, but enjoyable. That is to say that in the absence of any pressure, you would choose to go to the gym bc you enjoy it. The goal with the gym is to find the edge of pleasurable and too difficult and to step back into the pleasurable. The same with food- the goal is not to eat as little as possible without being too annoyed or angry, it is to find the bottom of the range of food intake where I feel like I am eating a lot and satisfied, and stay at the bottom (but still within this range!!) if I do it properly, I should still feel like I could eat less and that tomorrow I can do better. I should never feel like I stressed myself to eat less against my wishes. The trick in actually being effective is not to let myself fall anywhere in this range of acceptable diet but at the very bottom.


Fiber pills + water + gmail inspiration
+ items/tea
+ ocp + vitamin + iron

– yogurt + granola
– smoothie
– tea with milk and sugar
– frozen slices of peaches, frozen thinly sliced strawberry, banana, blueberries

– veggie chips
– smart food popcorn
– turkey slices

– snow peas
– cherry tomatoes
– celery/broccoli/mushrooms/carrots and ranch

– squats/lunges/wall sits for faster running
– sprints for faster running (for when you don’t feel like gym- just do a few minutes of cold turkey sprint)
– wall push-ups
– pull downs and assisted pull-ups every day and track progress

December 27

Stuffed face for holidays. But have been going to the gym.

8;34 mile-
Ran 1mi after light bike and elliptical at 7.0 the whole way. Tired at .85 mile but felt I could have sprinted faster if needed to finish. Didn’t run more after.

Some more bike and elliptical.

Cake (150), 5 chocolates (200), scallops (200), red bean soup and icecream (500), almond tofu (100) – so far 1150. Must eat as little as posible for dinner and nothing during mah Jong.

Think of my pics. And thighs rubbing. And how you look climbing with cellulite and fat butt… Or camping but being fat. Doesn’t work. Or wearing tank tops and worrying about arm fat making you look so broad

Feb 16- meet Ricky’s full family. Don’t want family to see me fat and unfit for Ricky’s active lifestyle – 7wks 2d

March 1- large possibility of going to Catalina islands in bathing suit- don’t want to look super fat in swimsuit pics – 9wks 1d

Remember- it doesn’t matter how you start- it’s how you finish.

Desperate times call for desperate measures- eat 571 per day on avg and work out 400 to improve fitness- will lose 2 pounds per week

No matter what you do, do not think about your progress, weigh yourself, or try on old clothes- this is bad news.

December 13

The day: interview at Tulane and fly/drive to UVA

In: yogurt fruit parfait and chai (400?) + half Danish (200) + salad/grilled veg mini sandwich/mashed potatoes/brownie (500?) + smoothie (300) + salad (250?) = 1650

Out: interview walking and stuff (150) + bmr1300 = 1450

Total: +200